My poor girl

This is the infamous E-collar. And the t-shirt >.> now you tell me how she ate a bag of dog food, and finagled outta that shirt!



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and one of salem and jonny just for cuteness :)



But anyway, Time is ticking. Jonny's leaving in a few days. the lovely army moved up his leave date:( only by two days, but still thats two days we had together! I knew, at least deep down that they would move his date, the old one has been in effect for months and months now. Last time he went to Iraq the date changed 7 times before they left, so it was more just waiting for it. :( silly army.

I have to go in for blood work sometime soon, to see if i have to stay on synthroid or not, i'm hoping not. although its the tiniest of my pills being back down to 9 pills a night is better then 10 right? Plus, if i can get off those, it may help my weight loss again, even though its not guarenteed, its still something to look foward too! Oh, and this prgesterone i'm on? about 10ish everynight i start getting the worst case of munchies i've ever had! and thats saying a lot if you know anything about my " wilder" days >.> /innocent i swear. its horrible to resist, so i started just not buying munchies. Its killing me, but i rarely feel like cooking at 10pm, so its working so far! lol.

anywho thats all for now. :) talk to you laters I'm sure.

Hiya :)

So i went to bed really early last night. Well, early for me anyway, about 9 o'clock. To be truthful, i read maybe for about an hour, I just started Brisingr :D. But after a fitful night of sleeping i woke up at 6 am with a headache :( there's not much worse then waking up with a headache :(.
As a result of said headache, i don't feel like doing much of anything today. I walked into the laundry room, and was pleasently surprised that jonny had switched laundry, only to then notice he didn't fold them, just tossed 'em in a basket on the floor :(. Typically man lol. But all i could bring myself to do was sigh at them and walk away. I did manage to start a pot roast, but really thats minimal work anyway, so it sort of fits in with the theme. lol.
Jon's mom came up for a few days this weekend, it was nice. Although i felt bad, since she's an early riser, and well, we're not >.> Jonny Normally is, but he's been on block leave for two weeks, and staying up late with me. so noon has been our morning wake up ;) Its gonna be a rude awakening whenever we do have kids LOL!
OH, on that subject, I think i've touched on it before, about the amount of people who stood up and offered to be a surragate if this cancer took a nasty turn, But most of them there was something that i thought would be a deterant, like one had their tubes tied, one was menopausal. Turns out, at least from what little i can find that both of these people can still carry babies to term. There isn't much of a point to this, but my amazement at what modern science can discover/do. And if the worst happens and i lose my uterus this is a real possibility for me. I would like one biological child, then i'm happy to adopt :D. I want a large family, and i will have it >.> /determined!
Other then that i'm feeling fine, doing fine, just a little overwhelmed with everything going on here. Jon leaves in a week and a half, i move in a about 2 weeks. Even that i don't know how to feel. I am very excited to be moving back home, but saddened by the reasoning why. I don't want him to leave, but i want to be home already. Its confusing, and my eagerness to get home makes me feel like a bad wife. Don't get me wrong i can barely talk about him leaving, I don't want him to go, its just weird having completely oppisite feelings/emotions beating at my head.

OMGoff topic, random story. While his mom was up, we went out to dinner, and then to a local comedy club. We, of course, left kira and salem at home, and put the E-Collar ( big ol' cone thing) on kira. After Moving anything glass she would inevitably knock over, we were confident she would be okay, and left at about 4. about 11 o clock i came home to the weirdest events i have ever experienced in my pet owning life. Kira, being the neurotic dog that she is, somehow managed to do the impossible. We have a T-shirt on her, to deter her from picking at her stitches, she somehow, managed to take off the t-shirt, over her cone, and leave it in the hallway. She also managed to eat ( mind you in a E COLLAR!) a bag of salems Dog food, then puke it all over my new couch and throw pillows. I can not for the life of me figure out how she ate it. all i can imagine is a scoop and catch method.... which makes me giggle uncontrollably. I'll take a pic of her in the collar tonight so you can get an idea of this. it really is absurd. she also poo'd all over. it was crazy. So needless to say we learned our lesson and she will NOT be staying home alone with the E-collar -_-

anywho that was my weekend >.> how's yours?

Updates Updates Updates

Ug what a week. Things have been moving. I'm still packing, and getting a lot done, it just seems slower then I wanted. Also i seem to be running low on good size boxes.

After Living with Jonny for almost 8 years we have accumlated a lot of JUNK. And i mean junk. It doesn't help that i seem to have a gene for "pack rattery", lol. I actually found a phone jack, not weird enough you say? it still had teh wires that go up into the wall attatched... still not weird enough? Last time we messed with phone jacks was 5 years ago. Somehow it managed to travel with us from Ohio to New york. I've managed to supress the pack rat gene, and threw out a great many trash bags full of useless things. That made me feel much better. although i seem to have somehow inherited an entire box full of those 70-80's knit throws that are all green yellow and Orange.... Who thought up that color combination??? its horrible. I was just going to pitch them, but a great friend mentioned she thought she knew of a charity that took old blankets for those who had none, they aren't great, but something to keep you warm doesn't have to be pretty. If any one knows of such a charity let me know.

Oh, i got the Pathology back on Kira, her tumor was stage II, so thats not great. But its not the worst, we mostly have to watch to see if it comes back. She's doing great, although killing me with that evil sad look when we put the E-Collar on her at night. I just can't afford another 400 dollars if she decides to rip out the stitches -_-. But she's already bugging to go out back for a run, so i'm assuming she's feeling dandy ;)

OH. the worst part of this week? Apparently my Aunt passed away. Last week. Noone decided to tell me or my sister. so we missed the calling hours and everything. Needless to say we are very not happy with that side of the family right now. She was a wonderful aunt, and I would have liked to have gone. sigh

anywho thats my updates, here soon i'll be without internet, till around the first, although i'm not sure when the internet will be turned off. we'll see. well have a good week folks :)

When it Rains, It Pours.

So, I've been feeling right with the world. I got my uhaul truck for the move, even finagled 50 extra miles, and 2 more days for free. So i could move stuff to the storage bin, which i also purchased. Got my move out date, inspection, and bulk pick up dates set. My mom is coming up for a week of utter boredom/cleaning/packing ( what we are going to do without internet noone knows!!! we'll probably end up in the corner rocking!) And then i was brushing my dog, and she started shying away when I got to her leg. Upon inspection, i found a lump. a round thing, about the size of a half dollar -_-;

SO, i call the vet, schedule an appt, which was today. Turns out, she has cancer. I'm so upset. She's my baby! she's 8 years old, and i've had her all that time. So we're having 'rushed' surgery on thursday to remove the tumor, and then we wait on the pathology, to see if its stage 1,2,or 3. I don't know why it strikes me so weird that Canine cancer is treated so much the same to Human cancer. I guess cancer is cancer no matter where it is.

Apparently they even have chemo and radiation for dogs. But i don't think i can do that to her. There was one guy whose dog lived 7 months into chemo, by the end of it he had to drag his dog screaming, into the hospital. I don't think i can inflict that on her, even if it would up her survival rate a bit. Not to mention the 8,000-10,000 dollar bills. I don't know. all we can hope is its stage one, and it will be over with on thursday. I don't want to give her up yet :(






Kira and our old dog niko, the heffer XD


she was so adorable as a puppy!



i want to share how came to adopt her, but the details involve some sensitive events that i need to ask my mother if i can share, so we will see :)

Okay

Okay so. Sorry to have left you hanging, all two of you ;). I wanted to have my facts straight.

So i went to the oncologist in Syracuse, but its a teaching hospital and no one there has ever heard of PCOS -_- So that was a lot of explaining. the doctor himself was okay. although he came in at one point told me to " take everything off then i will examine you". i sorta blinked as he walked out. See, he didn't give me any gowns >.> i wasn't about to parade around in my Birthday suit! but shortly after decided i was gonna start rooting through drawers the nurse came in and got them out for me. I got Undressed and sat on the bed and a few minutes late ( no more then 2 min) he came in. Like just came in....Didn't Knock at all! good thing i wasn't doing a jig or something >.> crazy doctors. Not to mention from his exam i was sore for two days after >.> TMI i know but still, how big were his hands?????

But anyway. He gave me progesterone, or at least a script for it. and told me to come back in 3 months. thats about it. Not worth me driving in downtown Syracuse :( OH and i owe the parkin garage 6 dollars.... which i have no clue how to pay cause, seriously i couldn't understand a word the lady was saying. I just sat and nodded my head and tried not to cry. I was REAL nervous about finding my way back to teh freeway.... which actually turned out to be easier then getting off the freeway.

But thats where i stand. sounds like fun right? i take my first dose tonight. we'll see how it goes. But at least my HUbby is home for a little under 4 weeks :D then its off to Iraq, and me off to Ohio. anywho there's an update :D have fun with that ;)

big day tomorrow

Well tomarrow is my appointment with the Gyn/oncologist. I'm nervous. And a little scared. i'm not sure what to expect, almost all the research i've done on endometrial carcinoma says that Hysterectomy is the course of action. I definetly don't want that. seriously, no. But as far as i know we are just doing a D&C and hormone therapy. I'm really hoping he realizes how determined i am to do just that.

But i have to say, i have some of the best family and friends. Aarika, Rachel, and carol all offered to be surrigates for me Lol! i haven't even went down that route longer then a passing thought. I do have to say while if the unthinkable Does happen, i would probably go that route for one child. But after that i would just adopt. I've always wanted to adopt, so its not that far from my original plans anyway. oh well till tomarrow, when i find out the plan.

Oh and i packed like 4 boxes today! and started like 3 others YAY me! hehe

Oh and much love to my ohio family. a lot of columbiana is out of power from a huge wind storm that hit monday or tuesday. I know rachel said Friday was the estimate on when they would get it back, or something like that. and Grandma and grandpa out of power also -_-

Love ya guys, and even anyone else who wanders by!


PS: Parents, wild turkeys are mean.... Stopping traffic to let your 8 yr old out of the car to chase them is NOT a good idea.... Now you know, and knowing is half the battle ;)

got my appointment

Well, if anyone has any experience with tricare, you know its crazy to get to see another doctor, even with a diagnosis of cancer -_- well i got in there about ten, and got into my doctors office, did the general "doctor things" with the nurse, you know blood pressure, temp, all that. well i seemed to have an exeptionally chatty nurse, who proceeded to tell me about how easy it was to get pregnant, and sad to say i even know how her first son was conceived O.o Now, i'm not overly sensitive, or at least i wasn't. But seriously, she knew i had been trying to conceive for over 3 years, that i was just diagnosed with something that potentially could lose me my uterus( hopefully not!) and still jabbers on...>.<

Oh and yea, have any of you ever had the doctor that touches you wayyyyy to much? Not innapropriatly, just random touches. i personally like my little bubble.... and people i don't know intruding makes me uncomfy >.> But anyway. Apparently he was new, and flustered a bit, and a little weird lol. He got on me about smoking, and managed to work in that me smoking caused my UTERAN (is that even a word?) cancer ...... seriously. That doesn;t even make sense in my head...i know what it was caused by, my PCOS.... i don't shedd my lining, the lining decides it has a fun place to party and goes too it. its also a part hyperplasia crap. anywho after touching my knee about 10 times he ran off to try to find the pathology reports that CNY faxed to him. I dont' think he beleived me that i had endometrial cancer...till he saw the papers, he kinda blew me off till he got em, then he took me serious! lol. and when he came in ( touched my knee another 10 times) blubbered through about which doctor he thought tricare would approve, he mentioned a hysterectomy... i told him no. just no Lol. but he later ( after haveing to call CNY, decide which doctor to try for and more knee touching) he "found out" that since its stage one, all the cancer is in my lining. so they do the D&C and hormone therapy just as CNY told me. so then i went and sat with referal for another half an hour, and got my referal, not to the doctor i wanted but one supposably just as good.

although....i think i'm turning into a hyperchondriac, i've been having some random pressure in my pelvic area, and i didn't think anything of it, till i read that that was a symptom of Endometrial cancer....wait isn't that a reverse hypercondriac? I dunno, my moms made me into a sort of wait it out person. i dont' tend to freak over random pains or things, but now i'm starting to worry...its kinda knew to me...i mean take the fact that i twisted my ankle like 2 months and it still hurts but meh i haven't had it checked out LOL.

you know what i'm most scared about at this moment? lol....Driving to this doctors office by myself since jonny is still in wisconsin!! lol i'm such a dork

well i think thats about all thats happened. I'm still sorta taking it in, i haven't cried much....but i have issues looking at kids -_- without at least tearing up. but i'm getting through it, i will get through it and i will have my babies! Thats my mantra!

Jessica

PS: oh! my pathology was sent to a dr at harvard! thats makes me feel all special...in a weird way >.>

pps: in the words of a friend over at myspecialK's : Cancer sucks!!!